Billie Lourd was publicly saddened when her mother, Carrie Fisher, and her grandmother, Debbie Reynolds, died within a day of each other in 2016.
And now the 29-year-old “American Horror Story” star is speaking candidly about the loss of her superstar relatives on the latest episode of the New Day podcast, streaming on Spotify.
“It was brutal. It was really, really brutal, and I still hesitate and stutter because it is really hard on me,” Lord said.
The brunette beauty was Fisher’s only child—famous for her roles in “Star Wars,” “The Blues Brothers” and “When Harry Met Sally.” After spending four days in intensive care, Fischer died on December 27, 2016 at the age of 60.
The next day, Reynolds — Fischer’s mother and star of “Singin’ in the Rain” among countless other films — died at the age of 84 after suffering a stroke.
The double tragedies suddenly left Lourd without her closest relatives, and she struggled to adjust to their absence afterward.
Nearly five years later, Lourd says she still feels a huge loss.
“I miss my mother and my grandmother every day, but really, what I miss the most is my mother,” she confessed.
“She was the greatest, funniest person ever. She was the best f—king friend I’ve ever had. There’s no one who will ever be as funny as her. She was just — she’s amazing.”
Lourd told New Day Pod that she rarely speaks openly about her famous mother and grandmother, for fear that her remarks may be misunderstood by the media.
She added: “Everything I say turns into some title I didn’t mean.”
The actress then cited a particular example, saying: “It’s a [interview] Where I said something, and it was like three months after he died. I didn’t know who the f-k I was talking about or who the f-k I was or what was going on. And I said something like, ‘Okay, now that they’re gone, I have to be Billy.'”
“It looked like I wanted them to die, and it’s the exact opposite of what I wanted. I’d do anything to bring them back, but it looked like I was excited for ‘The Billy Show. Am.”
Lourd also admitted that she actively resisted publicly associating herself with Fisher and Reynolds while they were alive because she wanted to forge her own path as an actress.
But he says that now he regrets his decision.
The star said, “We were offered all these random photoshoots and all the weird things that happen in my life, but I didn’t want to do them while I was alive because I wanted to make sure that people knew me differently than them.” Huh.” .
“Now I wish I could run back and do all those photoshoots and do anything with them.”
Since the death of Fisher and Reynolds, Lourd has become a mother herself. In September last year, she gave birth to her son Kingston with fiancé Austen Riedel.
Back in May, Lourd shared a sweet photo of himself and his young son watching his mom in an old “Star Wars” movie.